When I started this series, I knew I wanted Cal to be involved somehow. Well, week 20 (WHOA!) is his turn.
If you ask Cal to do anything, it will most likely have a serious tone to it, as he isn't one to speak lightly about important issues. While I tend to be more lighthearted and poke fun at myself, he took this whole pregnant blogging to a new level. I love that we are different in this way. It keeps things interesting and keeps me grounded!
My husband, ladies and gentleman...
Hey, this is Cal here. Sterling wanted me to write a bit and give you my perspective on what it means to be a father. Publicly, I tend to be a high energy and positive guy. Privately, I tend to be a little more withdrawn and cerebral and in my habits. I like to work out in my garden alone, and can easily spend a day alone at home with little or no contact with others. What does this have to do with being a father, you might be wondering? I have a hard time with the idea of having children. I don’t really believe the world to be a good place. I think that people are tragically marred and predisposed to do evil. With this view of the world, it’s hard for me to feel good about bringing a person into the world. This is, however, only half of what I think about the issue. There is another element to be considered, something that is an extension of what I hold to be true as a Christian. We just don’t get to decide what is true about the world. Without any kind of ultimate undergirding principles, we are not able to say much about life. Is there a certain way we ought to live? Is it better to exist than not to exist? If we can’t even hold this to be true, should we live in a way that promotes existence and that of others as well? I’m not sure if other dads think about these things, but this is the kind of stuff that weighs heavy on my heart. I feel like I have so many things to work out in my own life relating to what I believe, it’s borderline irresponsible to bring someone else into the world. Add to this the chaos in the world around us, and I begin to feel guilty about being a father.
I think that Christianity is able to answer these questions and many more. We are able to understand what is around is and develop opinions based on our perceptions. Christianity not only sheds light on what is, but also what ought to be. This to me is what reassures me in my decisions to start a family. Jesus came to earth in obedience to His heavenly father so that we might have life and have it in abundance. The world, broken because of human wickedness, becomes comprehensible when the solution of the gospel of Jesus Christ is applied to it. The Christian message allows us to understand that the world is broken in relation to who God is and what he intended. We see what is, and what ought to be according to the standards of God the Creator. As a Christian, I try to live in obedience to the God who saved me in order that people can see Him in what I do. Being a good husband, and by extension being a father are efforts done as expressions of my Christian faith. I have a relationship with God because Jesus Christ gave His life for me. I have eternal life with God forever guaranteed by the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. As a Christian, I have my orders to go out and be the best Christian I can be. I have a clear standard for the kind of person I should be. My wife and I should be people that in every action and deed point to our Creator and His ways. I am confident that I can do this by having a children. Being a father and a husband on the terms that God sets gives me the pleasure of being the man that He made me to be. And, it allows me to communicate God’s truth in practical terms to a world that so desperately needs to be reconciled to Him. My fears and concerns about being a father are measured and examined in light of who God is and what His intentions are for my life. I know that by seeking His will in all things, and especially as a father, I can live with purpose and have a life of true fulfillment.
Well, there you have it. I could not imagine starting a family with any other person on this green globe. Maybe I'll leave all the parenting to him and I'll just get to be the "cool mom."
Kidding about that last part!
Photos by the lovely Crystal Belcher Photography