Advice for those who are grieving

I don't have all the answers and will never pretend that I do. In just 3 short months of life without my daughter, I have learned about grief and have tried to implement healthy grieving habits of my own. There is one point of advice I can give to those of you who are still in the fresh aftermath of your loss. 

Get off social media.

When June died, I took 4 weeks off from social media. I posted an update/thank you photo in the middle of it all, but I did not browse. I did not watch Instagram stories, I did not scroll my endless Facebook newsfeed.

It was the best thing for me.

Even if we don't intend to look in on our friends with envy, there is a fine line that is so easy to cross. Imagine losing your child and all you see on social media are crawling babies, baby announcements, people complaining about pregnancy, people complaining about their kids. Or maybe your loss was a broken marriage or ended engagement and all you saw were people posting happy holiday family photos. It probably wouldn't help you out in the long run to see those things when your own wound was so fresh. 

The thing you have to remember is it is no one's fault when they post something about their life online. I cannot control others, what they post or when they post. It's not my job to rain on their happy times or scold them for publicizing their not-so-good ones. What I can control happen to be things like opening an app or scrolling down and down and down.

So, practically speaking, delete the apps from your phone. Take the time you would spend each morning, noon, or night and think about your lost loved one or trying to get through the hurt. Read books. Look at pictures of happy times. Cry. Exercise. Trust me, social media will be there when you return. Your real life friends will still find ways to reach out to you. And really, are all the cat videos, Tasty tutorials, and Buzzfeed articles worth it? (Maybe the cat vids.)

This is just my opinion and what worked for me in my specific situation. But it did a world of good in my life during those immediate days and weeks after my sweet girl went to heaven.

 Photo: Echard Wheeler

Photo: Echard Wheeler