Being June's Mom

If you would have asked me 370 days ago what the coming year would look like, I would have responded with one word. Sorrow. To our disbelief, we were give the most wonderful, beautiful, precious, and happiest year of our lives. My girl who was not supposed to live made it 370 days. Those were and always will be the best days of my entire life. 

Today, we said goodnight to our princess. I will never write about the circumstances of her death. I do not want that memory saved. What I want to hold onto are the memories that will make us smile and keep us going. It may seem shocking for me to write of this so soon, but I am still severely numbed to the pain right now and wanted to share some of my favorite parts of her.  

June loved music.  

June loved being held.  

June loved snuggling with us and slept in our bed almost every night of her life. She did not enjoy sleep training, so we obliged.  

June loved her nurses. She loved her friends at Edmarc Children's Hospice.  

June was so good at making everyone smile. She had the best smile. 

June had a birthday and Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter. She got to celebrate it all.  

June was so loved by her grandmas and grandpas. She loved her uncle Coco and uncle Josh and aunt Sarah.  

She loved mommy and daddy.  

June loved bath time. Niles would sit with her for every single one.  

She loved going outside. She loved the sunshine. She loved the breeze.  

June never sat up on her own, but she tried with all her might.  

June astounded doctors. Just today, her neurologist praised her for teaching the entire CHKD staff about people like her.  

She had the most beautiful voice.  

June loved baby food and ice cream and puffs.  

She was the most important person in my life and always will be. Her dad and I miss her so much. What I want you to learn from her little life is that EVERY person has intrinsic worth. Every person has the right to live and be treated with respect. All of us are made in the image of God.  

I want her life and death to glorify God. I want Him to be honored in every season of my life. I am not perfect and I will struggle, but I know for a fact God will deliver us through our heartaches. He opened his arms to our princess and welcomed her into heaven. Not everyone goes there, I hate to say it. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  Matthew 19:14. Our June was loved by our Father. She is in his care. I will love her forever and I long for the day we go home to her. 

Thank you for following along with June's journey. She fought so hard for so long. She is brave. Now it's time for mommy to be brave, too.  

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