Dear Bride | Dear Wedding Series

Oh boy! Literally! My sweet husband was kind enough to write for my blog. I hope you are entertained and inspired by his words. This guy makes me laugh every single day, this post is no different. 

Disclaimer: I am no cook. I have no idea where that came from. Also, I did not ask him to add in the wedding planner plug. He did that on his own!!  

sterling cal wedding

Dear Bride,

Congratulations on getting married! You've now got this unsuspecting guy right where you want him, and you're poised to deal the fatal blow to his singlehood. He'll never see it coming! I know I didn't. Seriously though, being married is the second coolest thing I've ever been a part of. (Knowing God is first.) My wife is my best friend, massage therapist, personal chef, and dancing instructor. She's all the cool things I'm not. I'm about as cool as a flannel shirt....as worn by Bob Villa. Cool or not, I do have some things to share with you. They are mostly things I learned through trial and error.

I know if I could go back, I'd choose to be much more involved in planning my wedding. I basically did the stereotypical dude move of just agreeing to everything and not causing any conflict. However, I forfeited a chance to benefit richly from the sacrality of my wedding day. I could've helped Sterling make our wedding the best it could be. So, I'd like to do now what I wish I did then. I hope you can learn from my words.

Make sure to guard your wedding day from false expectations. There are many influences with bad motives seeking to sell you a false load of goods. I'm sure you've been told something similar to the following: "Enjoy your wedding, the whole process, and drink up every minute. The wedding is your day, and it's all about you." Yes, weddings are AMAZING, and marriage is one of the coolest things that a man and a woman can do! However, the day is not just about the two of you. This is the greatest pitfall of wedding planning. What makes weddings beautiful is the eternal truth of two being joined into a new unit, better than its individual parts. Each individual is willfully offering himself or herself to be a component of marriage. The marriage union itself is the most critical human relationship. God created marriage to be the bedrock, the fundamental relationship that shows us who we are as humans. This is the point of marriage. We understand ourselves, others, and God better through marriage.

So, bride, don't fall prey to the common adage of the wedding being about you. You will find that the wedding will have so much more meaning when you plan the event to be about marriage itself. Because I didn't take an active interest in my wedding, I rarely think about that day. Had I been more involved, both Sterling and I could look back at our day and reminisce in a way that enhances intimacy and deepens our commitment. That should be the goal of all wedding planning. The wedding is not about YOU, bride. Your wedding is about bride, groom, and God. It is when all three persons are included and celebrated that marriage is its strongest. So, it would stand to reason that your wedding should reflect this truth. This is why a wedding planner is so important. Your planner will keep you grounded as far as your goals, and make sure you are able to savor the beauty of the event. It can be so difficult to stay grounded and pure to your principles once the planning begins. The wedding weekend can be so hectic that you can plan yourself out of being emotionally present at your own wedding! In your efforts to "make the wedding YOUR DAY", you can easily miss out on the beauty of what a wedding is. The best way to understand your wedding is to know the God who made marriage.

So, bride, stay grounded in your expectations. You are marrying a person, and the wedding event is meant to be a picture of your love and commitment. Encourage your groom to be involved and to embrace the beauty of the wedding. Now, this does not mean that all ideas are created equal. If your groom insists your wedding to be a black tie gala with spaghetti and baby back ribs at the reception, some oversight is in order!! Surround yourself with a planner that understands your needs, and heed the counsel of those older and wiser. That way, your wedding day will be as pure and beautiful as the commitment that you and your groom are making. 

-Cal

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