I had a little help with this post from my mommy! I was talking to her about things she would tell the mother of the bride. Maybe you aren't the bride's mom, but you might be her "mom." Not every bride is blessed to have a mother figure to help during her engagement. If you are that bride, know that there are women who do not have a daughter, and I'm sure they would love for you to reach out to them. If you just need a mother figure to talk to, shoot me an email. I'll share my mom. Better yet, I'll rent her out. Haha! jk ;)
So if you are the "mom" of the bride, here is what was laid on our hearts.
The day she has been waiting for is quickly approaching! Honestly, the day YOU have been waiting for is approaching. Of course, every mother's dream includes her child's happiness. Having a daughter, and having her getting married, it will be so easy to want to live through her experiences. You should tell yourself, over and over again, "What does SHE want HER wedding to look like?" It should not be what you wished your wedding had been.
We've all heard the story: the girl wears her mom's wedding gown because she feels like she might hurt some feelings. She invites her mom's friends over her own just to keep everyone happy. This wedding is your daughter's vision. Yes, you can join her and have the same vision, but checking yourself periodically throughout the planning process could help prevent grief, stress, or hurt feelings.
All things considered, YOU, mom, will be the key to keeping her calm. You know her triggers. You are the only person to have known her for EVERY SECOND of her being. Keep that as your own little secret weapon against the trying times. Don't use it against her, use it for her.
Lastly, as your daughter and her new husband start their lives together, remember that there is value in his heritage. Include his mom in the planning. If she's like my mother in law, she will be more than willing to help out. Bringing her into the inner workings of the planning process will bring your families closer. ...this will come in VERY handy when there are grandbabies. Don't see his mom as competition. See her as a comrade, a partner, a friend.
Like those sappy tissue commercials say, "thanks, mom." You have raised her, now it's time to step back and let her dream become reality.
Love, Sterling and Momma G
PS- My mom wanted to add that it's also your job to keep the "crazy" relatives away before, during, and after the wedding. I like to think that's also part of the planner's job, too. ;)
Please enjoy some photos taken by my bridesmaids! My mom was such a blessing on my wedding day.
*Let this be encouragement for you to not put your dress on in a church classroom. Please, I beg of you! I have a post of 'things you should not let happen on your wedding day' coming soon!