Waiting on The Ring

A few weeks back, I talked to the gents about making the most of the proposal, but for us girls, the proposal isn't the hard part. The hard part is that period between the serious 'do we actually plan on getting married?' convo and the 'big question.' Recently, a close friend of mine, who is not yet engaged, brought this up and mentioned how difficult it can be. Unmarried friends, I remember. Within a few months of Cal and I starting to date, we started talking about marriage. However, it wasn't until our 1 year dating anniversary that we got engaged. (I understand this might be a shorter time frame compared to yours, but for me, it felt like an eternity.) During our pre-engagement relationship, I was a crazy woman. Every time Cal and I hung out, I was expecting a proposal. "Oh, you want to go to the 'grocery store'?...Let me make sure I have a cute outfit on first!" "Wait a minute, he doesn't normally dress that nice when we go to the movies." "OMG, he's reaching in his pocket for something!!" Seriously.

On December 31, 2008, I just KNEW that was going to be it. After much anticipation, midnight struck and nothing. I left our NYE party sad and frustrated. The very next day, I got upset with Cal. I told him we had been talking about getting married for months and months, and how could he make me wait so long to start planning, blah blah blah. It wasn't cute. I was wrong. And what I didn't know was that he was planning to ask me the very next day, January 2. (Thank goodness I didn't scare him away!)

How about you try this: Instead of looking at every little movement he makes as a signal that "it's time," trick your brain (and heart) into being excited that he's actually planning something you will only get to experience ONCE IN YOUR LIFETIME. Ladies, I am not ignoring the fact that it's tough to be patient. When your feelings for this person are so real and you've made the decision to love him, you don't want another day to go by without him by your side. Hindsight will be your friend. You'll look back and see that the wait wasn't that bad. When the first few years of your marriage fly by, because they do, oh they do, you'll wish you could go back to the time before the ring.

Don't keep wishing and hoping your life to move faster. Don't do that to your future self. Old Lady (insert your name) will remember the memories you made for her. Savor them. Let them be good.

What They Don't Tell You About Being an Adult | Pep Talk

When you're young, adults warn you about things.

"You'll work and work and never have enough money."

"Everything breaks when you buy a house."

"You get gray hair and can't lose weight."

"It becomes harder and harder to move around."

All of these things may be true for some people, or most people, but there are countless other warnings. However, they forget one. I had no idea this was even a thing.

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING. EVER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

Lately, my life has been a blur. I work. I come home (sometimes). I work on my business stuff. I meet with brides, catering clients, vendors, bosses, employees, etc. I find myself already committing every night of my week to one thing after another. And ya know what? Most of it involves little interaction with my family and friends. I can't remember the last time I went out with my girlfriends. Literally can't remember.

Please don't misunderstand, I am not complaining, but rather REALIZING what my reality has become. And I'm done with it. I'm tired of never feeling rested, not getting to see my family, not taking time for my marriage, or just as worse, myself. I find my sanity slipping out the door because my brain is on overdrive all the time. The worst part about all of this is the people I've talked to, my peers, feel the exact same way.

Our generation is overcommitting and overexerting ourselves to the point where we aren't living. *Side note: my spell check is telling me 'overcommitting' isn't a word, and maybe it isn't, but I Googled it. Look how the use of the word 'overcommit' has increased in the past 50 years. Maybe it wasn't really a recognized word, but I honestly think it has to do with our incessant need to be involved in EVERYTHING. ALL THE TIME.

overcommit

How is it that my parents were able to sit down for dinner every night with my brother and I? (Mom, maybe I'm just clouded with overly-positive childhood memories because I really thought we ALWAYS had dinner together.) How was my entire extended family able to gather each Sunday for a post-church lunch? Why do I remember being babysat as a kid so my parents could go do stuff together? I cannot fathom how that would work in my life right now. I am so thankful for my job because I LOVE it. I am so thankful for my business because it is what I have wanted to do for so long, and it's actually happening. I am incredibly blessed by the ministry I'm a part of at church. But all of these things, which are blessings, can also be served in too big a dose.

So I'm taking a step back from life, so I can start living. I'm going to set boundaries for myself. No working past a certain time, even if important work must be done. No missing out on time with my family because I need to get caught up on blog posts. Spend time with my Creator, the One who saved me. Be healthier for me, my husband, and my brides. What good is a raggedy ol' wedding planner anyway?! And why do I feel as though I've written this same post before. ENOUGH!

I encourage you to do the same. Like Dave Ramsey teaches that every incoming penny must be allocated, you have to pay yourself the rest you deserve. Sleep. Take naps. Pray. Eat. Do things that make you not bonkers all the time. Take some time to smell the roses.

Cal will always be my default blog image. He's too cute not to be.

Cal will always be my default blog image. He's too cute not to be.

Signing off to eat some ice cream.

 

YOU Can Make It Happen | A Pep Talk

Don't know if you saw my Facebook and Instagram posts this week, but I am THRILLED to be working with Amanda Hedgepeth Photography on her Salt Air Workshop this coming Fall!!!!!! <----insert ALL the exclamation points.

A few people have asked, "How in the heck did you get this gig?" I find myself asking that same question. Haha! Amanda has been SO influential in our local market, and beyond, and I've long admired her work. She shot my very FIRST wedding, which was both an exhilarating experience and a terrifying one! (Imagine being brand new at this and working with someone you've followed on the interwebs for forever!) I've been thinking up a shoot she and I could do together for a while, but hadn't had the time or guts to ask if she would be up for it.

But then, I just jumped in and did it. And she said yes.

Someone even said I was lucky. And yes, I AM! I'm blessed to be working with her. But you know what? I reached out and went for it. I took a leap of faith and put myself out there. Made myself vulnerable. And it paid off.

Another jaw-dropping moment for me was when Hannah Hildebrandt send me a Facebook message earlier this year. She was expecting a baby in June of this year. She asked ME if I would consider being her stand-in for her June 27th couple. (Picture it: me, melting into a puddle on the floor because the wedding planner I looked up to for so long asked me to help her!) And not that this was the only reason she asked (we all know it was my dashingly good looks - ha!), but I offered to volunteer for her last summer. I basically said, "I just want to learn. Can I help you? I will come be an extra pair of hands at one of your weddings." And there I was, just a month later, helping her set up a wedding reception at Hunt Club Farm.

Do I think all things happen by our own strength and capabilities? No. Sometimes, people fall into success. Sometimes, it's just handed to them. I choose to not get upset or jealous about that because it's just the natural ebb and flow of what we like to call "fairness." Maybe I'll trip and fall into a mountain of money....or maybe I'll just have to work really hard to earn it. Either way, I'm going to be really thankful for the path that gets me there. And I like to think it'll be partly because I took the first step.

Take Gutsy Steps

What's your dream? Have you thought about it lately?

Maybe your current dream is your wedding? Are you taking the necessary steps to ensure it's everything you've always dreamed of? Or are you letting someone or something get in your way?

Is your dream to have a successful business? (That's one of my current dreams, too!) What are you doing to make it a reality? Who are you letting influence you? Are they supportive?

Your dream could also be to mend your broken marriage. Something has been festering and you've got to get started RIGHT NOW to fix it. What's holding you back?

All of this came from watching Switched at Birth on ABC Family. (Yes, I know..."aren't you a little old for that show?"...and the answer is probably.) One of the characters said this:

"Trust me, Dumbo, you don't need the feather to fly."

I don't need to be an expert planner to be a wedding planner. I don't need to have 15 weddings booked to have a business. You don't need to have the perfect workout clothes to get in shape. You don't need a million dollars to start paying off your debt. Something we learned at the Creative at Heart conference, and I've been seeing ALL OVER the pages of my friends, is to JUST GET STARTED - don't wait for it to be perfect. You know what? You will never have a perfect situation. Things will (most likely) never turn out exactly how you imagine. But you will NEVER know until you try.

This is me trying for my business. And trust me, it's exhausting sometimes. I look up and think "is any of this really doing anything to get me where I want to be?" Confession: I've already wanted to quit. Maybe you've been there. Maybe you're there right now. Maybe you DID quit. Get back up and try again.

I'm not planning on changing the world by being a wedding planner. I am hoping my interaction with my brides will change their wedding experience. All of this daily grind, blogging, leaving my house at 6:30 am for my day job, it's for them. And it's for me. And for Cal. And it's all for the glory of God. One day, I hope to be full time. Sitting at my desk in my home office, having a late night phone call with an anxious bride. In the meantime, I have a job that I LOVE, and a family that supports me in this season. Things could be a lot worse. Truly.

Again, what's your dream? What are you doing to see that it comes true? Dumbo flew because he could, not because of the tiny feather he held in his hand. What security blanket (excuse) are you relying on to get started? Drop it.

Source Walt Disney Pictures

Source Walt Disney Pictures