I'm not going to pretend that this job is always glamorous. In fact, it's more sweaty than anything else. On wedding days, I spend the majority of my time running back and forth, delivering things, returning things, finding things, reminding people of things, etc. (On the plus side, I usually get between 20-30k steps!)
I guess us wedding planners have a look of "that person must be the one I ask for ANYTHING" and "I should go dump my unfiltered thoughts on her."
- "Here, take this." This one is the most common. Because people think the wedding planner is with the caterer, I've had glasses, plates, forks, napkins, and chewed food (bleh) handed to me. Honestly, the catering staff puts up with so much, I don't know how they do it. They are the workhorse of the wedding day. I have also been given shoes, trash, gum, balled up programs, and children. And just FYI, none of those things I mentioned were from the bride or groom. All guests.
- "I'd prefer if you didn't tell me where to go." So, one of the reasons brides hire a coordinator is to maintain order throughout the major transitions of the day. Moving guests from ceremony to cocktail hour to reception can be tricky. More than once, I've had to ask the same guests 3 or 4 times to please proceed to the next location. And "I'd prefer if you didn't tell me where to go" is the nice way of writing what they said to me. Usually, these statements are accompanied by an evil glare.
- "I am the grandmother's best friend and if I want to go back there, you can't stop me." If my brides want to be kept away from their guests before the ceremony, I will do everything in my power to make that happen. Sometimes, people want to go back and see the bride, so I'll go make sure it's okay before letting them pass. When the bride really doesn't want them to come in, I'll say it's not a good time, and most people are okay with it. Some guests have been so upset with me and storm on by, making sure I am put in my place. It's hurtful to me, yes, but what I'm most concerned with is that it's against what my bride wants. Because it's not exactly socially acceptable (or legal), I don't pull out my inner-Rambo and tackle them to the floor....though, I've wanted to!
- "I have been watching you run around all night. You are working so hard! I'm sure the bride and groom appreciate you!" Yes, there have been good comments, too. I made it sound like most of them are negative, but it's quite the opposite! A few months back, I was assisting another planner friend with one of her weddings. The guest came up to me and said, "You have got it all together, I can tell." Well, I must have looked more composed than I felt because I had just met the bride, just learned about the floor plan, and just been given a task I wasn't sure I understood. Haha! I'm thankful for guests like her!
So, moral of the story? I guess I want you to take away a couple of things. #1 - Wedding vendors/staff/whatever you want to call us are people, just like you. #2 - The bride and groom, or their parents, have hired us (the collection of wedding vendors), therefore we are doing what we've been asked, what they've paid for. If you disrupt our work, you are disrupting the wishes of the newlyweds. #3 - Compliments are ALWAYS welcomed, especially at the end of a long day!